You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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