We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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