I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i dont even know how to be here
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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