Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
