nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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