is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
