...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
