Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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