i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
