I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
