Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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