So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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