We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
