More tranny stories later!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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