I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
