sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
