She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
