so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
