it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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