Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
