Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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