Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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