I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
