I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
