Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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