I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
