just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
