How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
