Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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