You can't motorboat a personality
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
