i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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