So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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