Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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