If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
