You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
