I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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