K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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