what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
