She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
