I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
