Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
