Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
