90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
