OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
