there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
