You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
