I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize