They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When are your genitals available?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
