How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
