Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
