Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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